When a new year starts, people spend a lot of time dwelling on things they want to improve about themselves. However, a new year should not be what motivate us to grow and develop. This year, I would like to encourage you to examine an uncomplicated fact that makes a profound difference: God created you to love and be loved.

Please understand that you will have difficulty being satisfied or feeling at peace until you learn to show and accept love. With that being said, you have an additional need, one that may seem counterintuitive: you need to have a healthy love for yourself.

Jesus said, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself ” (Matthew 22:37-39).

Jesus is suggesting that your love ought to reach in three directions —upward to God, inward to self, and outward to others.

That is the flow illustrated for real love. Loving God takes us up, discovering how to love ourselves takes us in, and we must go out and love our neighbors. Let me take a quick moment to dive deeper.

Love Upward
Loving upwards will focus on God the Father through the lens of our need for meaning, purpose, connection, intimacy, and reflection.

Love Inward
Loving inward will focus on Jesus through the lens of our need for honesty, self-control, intentionality, humility, passion, and potential.

Love Outward
Loving outward will focus on the Holy Spirit through the lens of our need for justice, self-expression, relationship, compassion, and duty.

Let me ask you a question: why do you struggle with self-love? I know you would probably agree that loving God and others is essential, but why is self-love so tricky for you to grasp?

For years, you have been taught that self-love is associated with arrogance and self-centeredness; but, that is only true if you love yourself more than you love God. Jesus wants you to understand and appreciate your worth, He wants you to appreciate your value. Christ died for you so you could be forgiven and reconciled to the Father. Since the Lord values you so profoundly, shouldn’t you love yourself? I am not talking about a pretentious attitude, but a quiet peace that comes from knowing your heavenly Father deeply loves you.

Healthy self-love is necessary to wholeness. If self-love is missing, you cannot love others as you should nor experience the love of God in its fullness. A nagging thought of unworthiness leaves you hollow without compassion. Instead of your love being given away as God intends, your love will be wasted in vain attempts to fill yourself up. However, when you completely accept the Lord’s love for you, you will have a healthy appreciation for yourself, an ever-growing passion for Him, and the ability and strength to care for others.

This year, before trying to recreate yourself and set new goals, consider that God lovingly crafted you. There may be things in your life that need to change, but He will provide the pathway for you to walk. All you have to do is follow Him in obedience and love.

Hold tightly to your faith, hope, and love, but the greatest of these is love. Therefore, love God, love yourself, love others . . . With actions and in truth. Click To Tweet